Stop thinking about networking and start thinking about community
It’s time to relearn how to ask a stranger to metaphorically play mermaids with you (or literally, I don’t know your life)
Hey Pals,
Before I get into the question for today, Emily and I both want to acknowledge how absolutely batshit this week has been (I still actually can’t believe it’s only been a week–it’s felt like a month minimum). Many of us are struggling, and now more than ever we all need each other and positive, strong communities (more on that in a minute). We love and appreciate you all, and want to continue to make this space as uplifting as possible.
With that, here are some joyful updates:
As you’re reading this, it’s been one week since I had top surgery! Healing is going well 🙂
It was Emily’s birthday yesterday!! Please wish her a happy birthday 🎂🥳
OH MY GOD EMILY’S BOOK WAS ANNOUNCED!!!! If you haven’t read the last newsletter, get on it.
I also have one potentially bad thing I want to highlight really quick and then we’ll get back to uplifting stuff: I’m not confident as I was a few months ago about the future of TikTok thanks to the recent shift in power and the likelihood of Zuckerberg’s outrageous lobbying donations holding more sway. It’s not over yet (there’s whispering that Amazon and TikTok have been in negotiations), but juuuust in case, make sure to backup your TikTok videos. And if you’re not already cross posting to Instagram, start doing that.
Okay, now diving into the question of the day and how the answer goes beyond promotional strategy into the realm of practicing community building vital to empowerment in times of struggle:
Dear Pen Pals,
How do I go about getting other people to help promote my book? Do I just come out and directly ask? How do I approach someone who I haven’t talked to before?
Signed,
I Hate Asking For Help
Hey I Hate Asking For Help,
As someone who grew up conditioned to hate asking for help, I feel you. This past week has required me asking for help more times than I have in the past year combined, and it’s been uncomfortable.
But you know the #1 thing that’s making it easier to ask for help? The people helping me are my friends. They’re my core community.
There’s a million articles and social media marketers who will tell you the strategic ways you can approach influencer networking, but in my heart of hearts (and based on my extensive experience in this space) I really and truly believe a good influencer campaign comes down to one thing:
It’s corny, but you gotta stop thinking about how to strategically network and start thinking about how to make friends to build a solid, authentic community.
That’s not to say that these things can’t go a little hand-in-hand. There’s strategy behind all of this, to be sure. The main difference is your mindset.
Note: I’m going to be using the word “influencer” a lot here. I don’t mean Charli D’Amelio mega-millions, posts-relatively-generic-content type of influencer, I’m referring to anyone in your community who has an audience that values their opinion.
So let’s get into:
How to build your bookish community
A.K.A how to make friends. Making friends can be really hard as an adult, but it’s not impossible. It’s going to require putting yourself out there, which is scary, but ultimately so worth it.
Here are some suggestions for where to start:
1. Join online communities for writers and readers
Good news on this front: you’re already doing that by being one of our pals! But there are other great ways to engage in these communities:
Join or create a writer or reader Discord. For those unfamiliar, Discord is a messaging board app that allows you to create servers where you can talk to friends and/or strangers about shared interests, among many other things. (We’ve actually talked about starting one of these, sound off in the comments if you’d be into that)
Become active in writer/reader online spaces, like Reddit, Tumblr, or Bluesky
Join a writer/reader Facebook group (I know I talk about Facebook being dead, but groups are still relatively active)
2. Join real life communities for writers and readers
Join/create book clubs and/or writer meetups. Meetup.com is a great resource for this–I was part of a group called Shut Up and Write while I lived in the bay area.
Attend conventions. I’m going to DragonCon with Emily next year and I’m SO EXCITED.
Go to author events. Unless the author is extremely well-known, there’s a solid chance you’ll be one of a pretty small group of people who attend. At my job, I’m excited if more than 20 people show up to a bookstore event. This makes for a great opportunity to be able to connect with published authors, and also make friends with local book lovers, in an intimate setting.
3. Be an active and supportive mutual
All it takes to get on the path from “we follow each other” to “friendship” is being willing to take the leap into interacting regularly. If there’s someone online who you think is cool:
Comment on their posts. If you become a regularly recognized name in someone’s comments, they’re going to remember you.
Share their posts. Whether in your IG stories or reposting on TikTok, people love to be boosted! It’s a great opportunity to potentially spark conversation.
DM them! I know this is the scariest, but it’s worth it! I recently had a wholesome and much longer than expected interaction with a horror comedy creator I DMed last week.
If you can, try to meet up in person. Emily and I have both met some incredible writers through social media, and meeting up in person was easily the final nudge from “follower” to “friend.”
4. Promote other people’s work
The best kind of online promotion is the “I scratch your back, you scratch mine” kind. If someone sees that you’re going out of your way to promote them, they’re going to be waaaay more likely to be open to promoting you when your time comes.
And don’t just focus on huge authors and creators. Connect with people you genuinely like who are on your same follower level. Not only could you be getting in on the ground floor with someone rad as hell, but they’re going to understand you and have time for you way more than someone who’s already taken off.
Especially because a person who’s taken off may assume that you’re only trying to talk to them to get something out of it. And yes, in some ways you are. But two things can be true at the same time: you can sincerely like someone’s work and want to be friends with them, and that friendship can lead to positive outcomes for your book.
So how do you avoid exploitation? It’s easier than you think:
Be honest with yourself about your motivation
Try to always center your motivation on “How can I be a part of this person’s community, or have them join mine? How can I help them and contribute to friendship outside of business?”
By the nature of my job, I’m always reaching out with a cold DM pitch on first contact to new influencers–but that’s why I prioritize centering my motivation on “How can I support this person in their success?” I want every networking relationship I have to be built on mutual support. I’m protective of the influencers I work with and their time, because I want it to be positive for all of us, and ultimately I want them in my community–at this job and beyond. As a result, I’ve become online friends with many people who I’ve worked with as influencers. A few of them subscribe to this newsletter (I smile so big every time I see any of you interacting, it means the world to me!!).
Tl;dr: You need to care more about the person behind the screen than the numbers they rake in and the favors they can do for you. As long as you do that, it’s easy to approach people with the care they deserve and be one step closer to growing your community.
The benefits go way beyond book promotion
Your writer community can help motivate you when you’re having writer’s block, or are exhausted from querying. They can help you take a break by nerding out about books you love and reminding you why you’re doing this to begin with.
Community means laughing together, crying together, celebrating together, and having each others’ backs.
And that is so much more powerful than networking with a business-only mindset. For creativity and beyond.
Shameless Plug
EMILY HAS A BOOK DEAL EMILY HAS A BOOK DEAL EMILY HAS A BOOK DEAL!!!
DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT?!
Please go interact with all of her videos!!!!
Now go out there and make some pals!
And seriously, tell us if you’d join a Discord.
Best,
Pip (he/they)
Professional Pal
P.S.
I don’t know the number of times I’ve watched this James Baldwin clip over the years. I always come back to it when I need a moment to center myself. I hope it resonates with you, too.
I would totally come hang out on Discord with y'all.